March 2016 The Month Working Out Ends

The 30 Day Ab Challenge!
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This is the workout I was doing, for about 3 days. Then 3 days went by where I didn’t have the time. And now I’m stuck in this endless loop of “working out will make you happy” and “if I don’t workout I’ll be fat and gross”. I’ve even gotten to the point where I’m getting to stressed and depressed about working out to actually enjoy it.

When I was in college working out was my jam. It was free, everyone around me was jogging, I didn’t have a car so I had to walk everywhere. So working out was like my alone time, it was a way to do something when I had no money to do anything. It made me feel great and I thought when I moved back home it would still be my jam. But after 4 years of trying it no longer seems that way.

I would write down all my workout plans, so I could track my progress everyday. One day I just hated looking at it, with all the spotted entries in it slowing becoming no progress at all.

I have a car, I have to pay to use a gym, no one is jogging and if they are, they are getting harassed by people driving by. Working out was no longer the fun effortless pass time that I had enjoyed. It just reminded me of how much I hated the way I looked. It became a stressful chore to try to fit into my packed schedule, and when I didn’t fit it in I would feel the worst.

My mornings to me are when I can work on my side hustles, read up on how to better my blog, work on my etsy shop, work on a craft, relax and drink my coffee. My mornings are for me to reflex and relax.

Then I work a full time skilled labor job, and get home at 11pm.

Those evening hours are for me to enjoy time with my boyfriend, catch up with his day, relax and eat dinner. We typically go to bed at midnight. That’s one hour of just trying to decompress before bed.

So with all that going on and then lets say a friend wants to hang out or a family member wants to do something, I would put working out on hold. That made me feel like crap, but not spending time with people that I care about also made me feel like crap.  

I remember crying and just telling myself “I just want to be happy”. Feeling gross about my body, wanting to workout and then not finding the time to, was not making me happy. It was making me depressed.  

So I’m not going to workout anymore, at least not till I’m ready. I need to work on other things, things that will make me happy. Because right now that’s all I really want. 

Have any of you ever gone through burn out?