Being Yourself: The life struggle

And last but not least, be yourself…

That's usually how speeches or something inspiring ends right? But do you know what it means? Or what that means to YOU, yourself? Well we may not all know exactly what it means at this time in our lives. Or we may know half, or hey we may know exactly who we are. But I'm still learning, and right now THIS is who I am.

I am a girl who likes to wear hats, not just any hats! Big fancy ones! Ones that one would not normally wear. I like to dress up and have tea parties! And pretend to be something fancier, then a girl who grew up in the suburbs. 

I am a girl who still needs help with fashion. My days are pretty much spent at work. Mostly having jobs where uniforms were involved has left me fashionable stunted. So I go to my office job and it's a gamble. But I'm learning a little here and there how to make the me show. 

I am a fat girl at heart. Being a vegan means NOTHING! Don't go around saying all vegans don't have a sweet tooth, or that we don't have fun with our food, or that we can't have ice cream or cake or chocolate. You are dead wrong, I will find it and I will eat it! But I also like potato chips… I will get so lost in that bag. 

I am a gamer! I don't care what you say, so what if I only play Sims and puzzle games, I am a gamer! and that is my "sexy girl gamer" face. 

I am not anything super natural, I am a human. 

I want to be a cosplayer! I want to be in photos and on calendars and blah blah blah! 

*Gaaahhh girl dance/scream*

I am a girl that doesn't have a sexy face. I see all you girls! I see you on the internet and Facebook and instagram! and all those other places making your "come here" faces! Your "look at me I'm all hot and sexy" faces. Well I've come to terms with the fact that I don't have one. And that's okay! Girls it's okay to not have "that" face. I'm happy being cute and sweet and funny, I'll try the sexy look out when I'm older. Because being cute and 40 doesn't work. When I'm 40 I hope this sexy thing works out. 

I'm that girl that will maybe wear make-up. You don't have to be  in my special circle to see me without make-up and looking natural. You don't have to know me long to see me in my sweat pants and flip flops. I pretty much look however I want to look, whenever I want. It's a whimsical thing. 

My "awesome" faces will always look jacked up and scary… and so will my boyfriends. End of story! But Tom and I were actually very happy and excited to bake some pumpkin bread.

I am a girl who likes to drink, I drink when I'm stressed, sad, happy, bored, lonely, not lonely, creative, cleaning, night or day. Mind you, I am not an alcoholic, I drink responsibly and I usually drink fancier things. 

I am a girl that is trying her best to be girly. I am TRYING my best. Even though I know…those curls are going to fall out as soon as I walk out of the bathroom. I am a girl that paints her nails something new once a week. I'm a girl that wishes she could walk around in a pair of 6inch heels like they were sneakers. 

I'm just a girl, a girl. Trying to make this merge into adulthood as seamless as possible. And this is all the stuff I know for sure right now. But I'm changing everyday, the "me" in the future is so blurry and unclear and I'm okay with that. I think everyone should be okay with that. Live right now, be the you, you are right now and be happy! 

You don't have to know who you are to explain yourself or to defend yourself. I won't be able to do that, I have such a hard time explaining "ME" to anyone. I just don't know where to start! I get all confused and frustrated because I don't know where to start with the things that make me, ME. But I gave you a little glimpse of what I do know and that I can tell you I am confident in. For now…until new me starts to grow and replaces the old me… 

Poor boyfriend, has to keep up with all my shenanigans!

-So do you know exactly who you are yet? Or are you still learning?-